Vets salute in a thriller - get first win this season

“In Darebin fields where poppy’s grow…..”

But not this day my OX friends…. as from the weedy, soggy wetland fields of Darebin the “fallen” Old Xavs Vets got up to enjoy the sweet smell of victory!

Wet, cold & stormy, the Old Xav Vets travelled with parkers, blankets, mittens & woolly socks to take on West Ivanhoe United CC, with our squad of 8 somewhat Vet fit players, plus 3 injured soldiers in tow, it was a thrilling game played in great spirit, in front of massive crowd of 7, against a great bunch of fellow Vets.

The day started as the perfect cricket day……the wind, rain & gloomy forecast meant a high probability of no play, so a likely counter lunch, beers, bottle of red, open fire & fun afternoon at the Skinny Dog (note sponsors plug one) was looming large.

But the day soon got even better as we arrived at a ground with a undercover pavilion blasting out 80’s metal, a fully stocked bar, horse racing on the tele and the sweet waft of snags & onions on the BBQ….. maybe the Skinny Dog (sponsor plug two) would have to wait for a bit, as it would be far to ungentlemanly to leave this absolute cricketing mecca as the gathering storm approached from above the grey, distant Melbourne city skyline.

Hopeful of a small boutique oval where boundaries abound & running is kept to a bare minimum the Vets were confronted with a huge oval, almost as big as the parmas at the Skinny Dog (sponsor plug three), with a very wet outfield, but a very dry pitch & inner ring.

Looking his 3 injured players in the eye the skipper said “once you cross the white line”…. and the collective roar from Thomo (knee), Rob (broken rib) & Mick (hammy) inspired the skipper to quickly call for reinforcements.

Standing Zen-like in the middle of the ground, “Hooooooooorick” went the skippers call out. “Hoooooraaah” came the response from surgical rooms of East Melbourne – and soon “the Doctor” (Owie Niall), never one to miss a marketing opportunity to pick up 22+ new, sweet spot clients for his boutique water works inspection clinic, arrived with a mountain of business cards.

“Hoooooooorick” went the skipper’s second call out. “Hoooooraaah” came the echoed, time delayed, harder to hear, response from the cricket fields of the Peninsula – and soon, carrying his 4 foot long brown 1970’s Duncan Fearnley cricket suitcase “the Undertaker” (Chris Batson) in his Caddyshack style bucket hat, had arrived.

The Doctor & the Undertaker ….hmmmm……the boys looked sheepishly around the room but were all somewhat buoyed by the prospect of a likely “two for one” value package deal.

The Cricketing God’s soon smiled….the rain stopped & under gloomy skies the skipper won the toss. “Bowl” said the committee brains trust, so, listening to this advice intently the skipper said “Bat.

And we got off to a good start… Simon & Johnny H, a new opening pair, soon had 58 off 12.

Johhny H continued his fine season with a classy 35 (off 50) scoring with precision placement all around the ground.

But the long boundaries & wet outfield meant plenty of running; and soon the Vets were going down ball by ball during our innings…

First time opening, Simon made a very stylish 34 (off 42) but hurt the hip. Sammy, carving out 24 at a 100% strike rate, strained the hammy. Michael, batting brilliantly with some wonderful drives, tweaked the groin badly on his way to the top score, retiring on 40 (off 42). Thomo, who delayed his knee surgery until next week, made a solid 22 (off 38) on one leg, his hopping for 3 runs multiple times during his innings a highlight as the ball refused to cross the rope for him.

The good news was that Jerome & Dave weren’t out there long enough to get injured – hurt only with their second ball shot selections meaning wounded pride was their only scar.

The Undertaker then chimed in with a polished, well-made 17no (off 19 balls).

And then Robbie walked off, bat held high to rapturous applause declaring his 2 runs not out off one ball (200%) to be the greatest & possibly most significant of his career….and twice as many as Dave…..well yeah, you might well be right there Yoda!!

We’d made a season high 6-189. Well batted boys (except for two of you….you know who you are!!)

There were plenty of low fives all round in the rooms (high fives being band in case someone got injured!!). Ice, bandages, massage and plenty of moans & groans were soon the focus in the dressing room.

They need 190 to win…..so let’s talk bowling tactics …..but whoooaaaa hold the phone…check out the afternoon spread these guys put on!

Quickly the wounded were up at the buffet and the talk turned to the subtle texture & perfect heat of the party pies & sausage rolls, the wide selection of cakes & sandwiches, all with the perfect amount of mayonnaise on them, from the ham & tomato, chicken to the egg & lettuce; the perfectly cut mixed fruit platter, and the always crowd-pleasing favourite Savoy crackers with cut pieces of cabana & cubed tasty cheese!!

Five stars & big applause for WIUCC chef!!

But back to the cricket….  quickly there were positive signs that the OX Vets were up for it in the field.

The Doctor took a quick peak at Michael’s wounded tackle and declared it “all there”…. so with a high pitched groan & steely stare Michael rose, grabbed his keeping gloves & crab-walked his way to the middle.

Both Boothy & Rob put down their egg & very fine mayo sandwich, deciding to get out on the field early & do a quick run through….10 minutes later they both finally made it the 50m to the middle to join the rest of team (record time for both apparently).

With the full team assembled in the middle, the skipper declared a very cunning, wily, ingenious plan… “Short sharp boys, we’ll rotate the bowlers often, one-two overs max”.  With that, Sammy declared “Yes”; and the Doctor was soon picking Dave up off the ground as this first time ever agreement of his decision from Sam was way too much for skipper!

And we got off to a great start.

Having strapped the hammy in bandages last used at the Battle of the Somme, Sammy let rip, snick, bang into Michael gloves, second ball wicket!

Then we put the clamps on with tight bowling; and great desperate fielding – with pivotal runs saved.

Bowling in two over stints Sammy, was tight (in line, length and his right leg) leading the bowling charge. Thomo, off two steps, sent down 3x2 over spells, bowling their skipper with a ball with far more movement then anything in his knee. Mick, with one hammy soon hanging, managed to get thru 5 overs for 18. Simon and Dave further applied the screws.

Michael grabbed two great catches behind the stumps; and was clean all day despite his sore loin.

Boothy, who must have had some sort of bad school flashback episode as the front row smart kid with his hand always up with all answers; for some reason stuck his right hand rigid in the air as Sammy moved in to bowl …..then stood ice-still at mid-wicket…and somehow the batsman lobbed a good length ball directly into his raised right hand….. only then did Boothy move with a (very slow) lap of honour, right hand still raised.

“What a catch” cried Ritchie watching down from the highest heavens!

Brian, put the wheels on with multiple long chases toward the fence; and at one stage tried his very best to join the injury honour roll, as he flew for an amazing, slow-mo, Matrix style hang in the air catch - if only the ball had left the bat before his spectacular but somewhat pre-emptive leap!

Jerome prowled the deep cover fence all day in front of the pavilion, playing up to the verbal jousting, banter & roar of the Ivanhoe lads for his repeated Size 12 boot skills, with calls of “Again…jeez…just put it away Sam Kerr” in denying boundaries again & again with his left & right boot.

The Doctor showed similar Messi-like skills at deep mid-wicket as he repeatedly chased the ball all day, like a young bull let into the paddock for very first time!

At the 18 over innings break we had them at 3/56….they need 134 off 18 over at 7.45…..put the beers on ice boys!!

But soon the momentum swung as their two best batman dug in, as the injuries started to bite and tiredness crept in our bowling & fielding….one batsman retiring on 40 (off 42), the other making 23.

The West Hoe’s soon had two big solid fellas in the middle, swinging harder then any glam rocker in a 60’s Soho nightclub, which sent the OX Vets scurrying to all corners of the field.

But with 57 need off the last 6…..we still got the beers on ice boys!!

Batter, batter, swing batter! They soon need only 21 off the last two overs.

Sammy steps up. 6 balls later, with a glare and snarl only 4 runs from the over. Ice Sam, Ice.

17 needed for the win off the last over….

The skipper looked skyward to the Cricketing God’s… “Talk to me Pat, talk to me”… and cometh the hour, cometh the man…..the skipper walked in from deep cover observing his wide spread field, taking his cap off & wiping his brow; he grabbed the ball, took a deep breath & strode confidently to the stumps……and tossed the ball to Jerome!

Jerome licked his lips; bowled a tight line & length with only 5 runs coming off the first 3 balls…..we’re almost there…..then bang, bang, two swatted hard hit fours…..and somehow only four were needed to win off the last ball.

It was tense. Every sore muscle tightened (as did another body part on all 11 of our Vets). The last ball….full, on middle, swatted again toward the boundary…..will it get there?

The batsman run & run, the ball is cut off by the Doctor, and so began a magnificent daisy chain relay of three precise throws (all underarm as is the Vets edict) back to Jerome at the bowler’s end.

“Got him, Got him. He’s out. Run out going for the third. Would you believe it. He’s gone. Xav’s win by one run. Goodness, gracious me” cried Bill, from somewhere on the road to heaven.

Victory. One run.

The skipper looked relived. The boy’s ecstatic. And even Sammy cracked a little smile.

The sweet smell of victory blended in beautifully with the post-match aroma of BBQ snags & onions The beers were cold as Michael was awarded player of the match for his 40no & two catches, while Mick picked up a slab in the bar raffle!

And as brothers in arms we hobbled slowly away the battlefield of victory (and the bar); for despite the massive injury toll, victory meant there was no pain this day…..just the smell of roses….smell those roses boys!

Within 30 minutes the story of this infamous, against the odds, never say die, play thru any pain victory was being shared with all in the front bar of the Skinny Dog (sponsor plug four)….with one scribe, (let’s call him Sam), describing the 6 over, 3 for 20 bowling of the injured quick S. Nunan as “without doubt the finest bowling performance in the long history (11 games) of Old Xav Vets cricket”….while another scribe (let’s call him the Prez) soon sent a telex reminding all of the 6 over 3 for 18 bowling performance by one C. Nunan last year with the hashtag: #justsaying!

One down…three wins to go….the finals are calling…..can you hear it boys??

Result:

·       Old Xavs CC Vets: 6/189 (36 overs) v’s West Ivanhoe United CC Vets 6/188 (36 overs).

·       Old Xavs win by one run.

·       POTM: Michael Meehan (OX Vets)

·       Played at Seddon Reserve 26/11/23